I don't know exactly what my precious Heavenly Father has in mind, but I know the Holy Spirit is doing a work on me. I am being stretched. The little box I've kept myself in for far too long just isn't going to hold me any longer. The Holy Spirit is pressing hard against me. It's like nothing I've really ever experienced before in my walk with Christ. There is a churning all around me. I almost feel like I can reach out and touch the Spirit of God. More than once over the last couple of years I have had this sense that I wasn't really "getting" something that God was trying to teach me. Having become a Christian when I was 9 and growing up in the church, I thought I had this faith thing figured out, but there became a growing need in me for a greater intimacy with God, a greater knowledge of his truth, and to really "get" what it was he wanted to pull out of me. It's all kind of hard to explain, but I began to say to God, "If there is something I'm not getting, please show me. Show me your truth. If there is something more than what I'm experiencing in my walk with you, don't let me miss it."
Looking back I see how the dots are connecting and how things began to change for me even back then. But several weeks ago when I was working in my office late, I found myself alone there with just a little desk light on, talking to God, and saying through tears, "Whatever it takes Lord, whatever it takes." I knew in that moment that I was willing to do whatever, whenever, however he wanted me to do it. I released something and I began to listen. There is truly no other way to know what it is that God requires of you than to spend time in his Word daily and to be on your knees in prayer. These habits have overtaken my life in a way they never have before and God is changing me. God has made my walk with him kingdom centered rather than self centered. That has made all the difference. In everything I do, every decision I make, every action I take, I must ask, "How does this affect the Kingdom." It's not about me. It's not about my needs. It's about God Almighty, His name, and His Kingdom.
I am praying this simple prayer daily. "Let me hear you, pull out of me a great love and mercy for other people, and give us a clear mission that is undeniably from you." He has spoken and he continues to speak.
I'm being stretched beyond what is comfortable or even reasonable to my little mind, but I trust him, and that's all that matters.
I know this all may sound kind of vague. The work is just beginning. I'm not sure how it will unfold or exactly what he has in store, but I'm ready.
I'm going to be taking a bit of a break form this blog. I don't know if it will be for a few days or a few weeks, but I have to unplug and listen. I don't want to miss anything he is trying to teach me. This also means I am suspending Weekend Wrap-Up for now. I don't know if I will return to that at a later date or not. I don't know much at this point! I love you guys, and hopefully I'll see you soon!
Today I'm sharing with Five Minute Friday where we are given a prompt and asked to write for 5 minutes. Today's prompt is STRETCH.