August 17, 2012

I'm Being Stretched (plus a blog break)

I don't know exactly what my precious Heavenly Father has in mind, but I know the Holy Spirit is doing a work on me.  I am being stretched.  The little box I've kept myself in for far too long just isn't going to hold me any longer.  The Holy Spirit is pressing hard against me.  It's like nothing I've really ever experienced before in my walk with Christ.  There is a churning all around me.  I almost feel like I can reach out and touch the Spirit of God.  More than once over the last couple of years I have had this sense that I wasn't really  "getting" something that God was trying to teach me.  Having become a Christian when I was 9 and growing up in the church, I thought I had this faith thing figured out, but there became a growing need in me for a greater intimacy with God, a greater knowledge of his truth, and to really "get" what it was he wanted to pull out of me.  It's all kind of hard to explain, but I began to say to God, "If there is something I'm not getting,  please show me. Show me your truth.  If there is something more than what I'm experiencing in my walk with you, don't let me miss it."  

Looking back I see how the dots are connecting and how things began to change for me even back then.  But several weeks ago when I was working in my office late, I found myself alone there with just a little desk light on, talking to God, and saying through tears, "Whatever it takes Lord, whatever it takes."  I knew in that moment that I was willing to do whatever, whenever, however he wanted me to do it.  I released something and I began to listen.  There is truly no other way to know what it is that God requires of you than to spend time in his Word daily and to be on your knees in prayer.  These habits have overtaken my life in a way they never have before and God is changing me.  God has made my walk with him kingdom centered rather than self centered.  That has made all the difference.  In everything I do, every decision I make, every action I take, I must ask, "How does this affect the Kingdom."  It's not about me.  It's not about my needs.  It's about God Almighty, His name, and His Kingdom.

I am praying this simple prayer daily. "Let me hear you, pull out of me a great love and mercy for other people, and give us a clear mission that is undeniably from you."  He has spoken and he continues to speak.
I'm being stretched beyond what is comfortable or even reasonable to my little mind, but I trust him, and that's all that matters.

I know this all may sound kind of vague.  The work is just beginning.  I'm not sure how it will unfold or exactly what he has in store, but I'm ready.

I'm going to be taking a bit of a break form this blog.  I don't know if it will be for a few days or a few weeks, but I have to unplug and listen.  I don't want to miss anything he is trying to teach me.  This also means I am suspending Weekend Wrap-Up for now.  I don't know if I will return to that at a later date or not.  I don't know much at this point!  I love you guys, and hopefully I'll see you soon!

Today I'm sharing with Five Minute Friday where we are given a prompt and asked to write for 5 minutes.  Today's prompt is STRETCH.

16 comments:

  1. I know as you listen and pray, God will lead you where you are to go.

    May God richly bless you as you follow His plan.

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  2. Beautiful! A great reminder and call to get on our news and listen... to hold life undeniably loose and forward... giving it back to the One who gave it to us... and watch as He makes it even more beautiful than we could have imagined or fashioned on our own. I'm living in a piece of this myself right now... we've just sold nearly everything we own and moved to serve at a school for missionaries in GERMANY! We've been here a week and a half... and we've spent the last year and a half watching God provide for and meet every single need... in such a way that we are able to be here today. May God's work in your life lead to something equally as amazing as you seek Him out in all willingness. *hugs*

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  3. This is so beautiful! I am praying for your time unplugged & all that God has in store for you. It is so lovely that you are seeking Him above every other thing during this time! Blessings, sister.

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  4. Sounds like you are going through a major spiritual transformation. Today I saw a book by Jennie Allen called "Anything: The Prayer That Unlocked My God and My Soul." After downloading a sample for my Kindle, it sounds like the author went through something like you're describing. The book definitely has me intrigued, so I'll probably go ahead and download a copy. Praying you receive fully what it is that God is trying to give you. Hope you'll be able to update us at some point in the future!

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  5. Oh, I felt your heart as I read this and know that HE has even greater things in store for you in the coming days, weeks and months. We'll miss you but will be right here when you return. Blessings abundant to you!

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  6. Praying that as you unplug and incline your ear, that He would speak to your heart. Asking that He showers you with His love and gives you the wisdom and insight that you seek.

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  7. Praying for you as you seek to become all that God wants you to be and do whatever it takes to get there! God has great plans for you and I'm excited for you to see them unfold. Blessings.

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  8. Hey, Stephani~

    Praying for you as you continue to listen to God...I know He has great plans for you! Jeremiah 29:11

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  9. Praying as you take this time to seek the Lord and what He has in store for you. I can't wait to hear what it is.

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  10. We all need a break and feel "stretched" to the limit! Be still and listen!

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  11. Stephani, I've been feeling similar stirrings... and making changes in my life to suit. I'm struggling through the stretching too and leaning into Him. Will be praying for you.

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  12. Hi Stephani, I am so glad I stopped by to read what you are up to this summer. I will pray for you to hear and experience all God has for you during this break. Blessings and joy...

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  13. I would take a break from blogging too if my mom didn't look at it every day...our little connection. (o:
    As tiring as this growing season was for us, I'm sad to see the summer almost over. I've wondered about the winter, how God would like to see me use my time. We will keep in touch...especially through our prayers.

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  14. Hello! I think that you should just take a little break or vacation to forget all those daily issues that put you in such a position. I hope that after a while you will feel relieved and relaxed. Good luck to you!

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  15. nice post thanks for sharing...i found your blog thrue other follower im looking for to visit more...blessings

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  16. What a beautiful reflection of our daily need to listen to God's wooing our hearts. I am praying for softening of my clay in the potter's hands and a refreshing of my response to God's message. Your writing is beautiful and I look forward to more when you have fulfilled God's mission into prayer,listening and responsiveness.

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