October 13, 2011

Some Things Just Can't Be Planned

This is my planner.  Do you recognize it?  I posted a picture of it about a month ago as part of my 10 on 10 post.  I write everything in here, and keep some of my important papers that I always need with me.  You know, like my parents medicine list. : )  My planner is more like a giant to do list with pockets.  It keeps me on track because I have a tendency to day dream and wander off. : )

This week however, the Lord has shown me that my life can't be ruled by a planner.  There are just some things that can't be penciled in. 

For example.  I didn't know on Monday morning that I would get an emergency phone call telling me that my dad had passed out and had been taken to the emergency room.  I didn't have it penciled in on my calendar that I would have to leave work and spend several hours at the hospital.  I also didn't have it scheduled in my planner that on Tuesday morning my Dad's doctor would call me at work and tell me that he was concerned about the cognitive decline caused by his Alzheimer's, and we would need to transfer him to a higher level of care, at least for a few weeks, to assess exactly what his capabilities are.  I also failed to plan for the overwhelming depression that would hit me in the morning hours of Wednesday.  I had not anticipated that I would have a meltdown and need to go into work late.

I am amazed at the awesomeness of God's grace.  I found myself focusing on all that I was carrying on my shoulders with work and family responsibilities, and I actually said to God, "I can't do this."  In a way that only the Holy Spirit can, he whispered, "Whose daughter are you?"  That was all I needed, a humble reminder that the resources of heaven were at my disposal.  Immediately my prayers turned to strength instead of pity, and courage instead of fear.

I've re-learned some valuable lessons this week.  I need to keep my mind on whose daughter I am, and I must remember to leave room for God to work in my life.  I have to be willing to bend with the schedule that God places before me or I will break.

Please pray for Dad and Mom this week if you should think about it.  This is a very difficult time for them.


  1. Stephani, it is amazing the strength that God gives to each of us. All we have to do is remind ourselves that He is there for us in our times of need, planned or unplanned. I will pray for your Mom & Dad and for you too. It is so difficult to watch the ones you love fail. Take care.

  2. Dear Friend,
    I feel for you and empathize and sympathize with you. I have been werhe you are with my parents before they passed and I know that feeling of depression. I have had a bout of it today.
    I will keep all of you in my prayers and I am here if you ever need to talk.

  3. Oh, Stephani, I am praying right now for both your mom and dad. And for you. You are such a good daughter on both accounts, to your earthly father and to our Heavenly Father. He is taking such good care of you, giving you mercy and strength to get through, even when you're sad and feel overwhelmed.

    You know my heart hurts for you, friend. I pray for you often. You are persevering in this season with such grace.

  4. Bless you, Stephani - and your parents - a difficult time for you all, I'm sure. What deep things the Lord does in our hearts through the storms. Been pretty rough winds my way this year - but when we turn to Him, He calms the seas. Just now on the verge of getting my bearings. May you find His strength to be that which overwhelms you as you navigate your planner - with unplanned dates.
    Joy in the journey,

  5. I'm so sorry to hear this, Stephani, and I will pray for you and your parents. We had both of our moms here for the wedding this weekend. Yes, they are slowing down, but I was reminded again that new memories were made and joy shared...and how thankful I am for that special time. As for a planner, well, I have never been very good at using one, but your point is well taken, God is in control and He is our strength. Take care of yourself too.

  6. What an excellent reminder of whose we are and where our strength lies. My mother lived with me the last three years of her life and I would do it again in a minute.

  7. Thank you for sharing about this Stefani. Will be praying for you and your parents.

  8. Hi Stefani,
    It seems so many are having health issues with their parents. I will keep you and your parents in prayer. I am glad that you heard that still, quiet voice from the Holy Spirit that gave you strength to go on.

    Thank you for the reminder of whose daughter we are.


  9. Oh, sweet friend...I will most definitely be praying for you and for your parents in this difficult season. And, what a beautiful post you have written. I can relate as I often feel the same way..."I just can't do it". Thank you for the reminder that...yes, we can do it!
    May you feel His loving arms lifting you up and giving you supernatural strength.

  10. oh dear...it seems we both have felt like "we can't do it" lately!
    will be praying for y'all!

  11. Oh, Stephani, I relate so much! I'm a planner with a capitol P and these past 4 months have once again shown me that somethings just cannot be planned.

    I've been stretched to the limit and have felt just like you, "I cannot do this." But, just as you, the Lord always gives me just what I need when I need it to go forth.

    Praying for you my friend and for your precious parents. Hugs!

  12. Dear Stephani... I'm praying for you and your parents. Oh my - I so relate...

    Robert's home just got an offer on it and I'm praying for it to go through. I remember the times in his home - overwhelmed with the sadness of his loss, the mess, etc....and crumpling in a ball of tears telling God, "I can't do this!"

    God heard me - sent help - in forms I never would have believed. You are indeed His daughter and you are being covered in prayer. Wish I was there to help... hugs.

  13. Dear Stephani...Thank God I found your blog! You are a woman of God, very spiritual. Your blog speaks so much of your faith journey. I can empathize because my parents are both in their 80's. My Dad has COPD and my Mom, a diabetic and starting to have memory lapses...will pray for your parents. May I know their names...
    God bless you and may you continue to bring people closer to God through your blog..

  14. Hi Stephani!

    It is so hard to watch as our parents grow older and wind up with complications.
    I live too far away to be in direct contact with my mom, so I call her at least once a week. Through the calls I can tell she is weakening. She is always tired, tells me the same thing from one phone call to the next, etc.
    My siblings live closer so they are in closer contact.
    Actually my mom met a guy friend, she says the Lord put him in her life. He is a few years younger than her and helps her daily, even with some of her most basic needs. I believe if he wasn't there she would have to live in an assisted living place or a nursing home.
    My heart goes out to you and your parents. May God bless each one of you.

    Thank you for visiting my blog today.


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