July 4, 2011

No Need To Grapple

Just two days ago I shared with excitement my first post in over a month.  A post about being still.  Two days later, "little bird" is back in the hospital.  It's a never ending cycle of poor choices and pain, getting better, then getting worse again.  I'm still, still.  This time, the peace that passes all human understanding has me baffled.  My boat has been rocked, but there are no waves for me to fear.  We've walked this road before and I know I'm not responsible.  I'm not responsible for what has happened, or what will happen.  I'm only responsible to be faithful to God and his will, including what role I am to play in the healing process . . . this time.  I'm tempted to grapple for answers, but I stop short when I realize the words, grapple and stillness, don't go together.  God sees that little bird.  His eye can zoom right in to the very fibers of the blanket covering his body, and deeper still to the inmost parts that he nit together in the womb.  God knows.  I must be still and trust and obey, and be thankful for there are blessings every day even in days like these, especially in days like these.  Just when you think things are calming down, no longer at a boil, you round the corner to find they had only been reduced to a simmer and the heats been turned back up - count your blessings anyway.

836.  the visit to his apartment to see how he was doing and why things didn't seem right.

837.  crisis centers that can lend help and direction

838.  hospital emergency rooms

 839.  kind nurses and medical personnel

840.  the opportunity to show compassion

841.  peace when it seemed he might not make it

842.  improvement in a seemingly hopeless situation

843.  watching the people come and go in the hospital, seeing the pain, and being reminded of what the Gospel is all about.

844.  God sees it all

845.  family who prays

846.  friends who pray

847.  not having to know the answers

848.  being willing to trust anyway

849.  little joys

850.  fresh pineapple

851.  fireworks

852.  rain on a hot summer day

853.  a cold glass of iced tea

854.  my cauliflower and cream cheese recipe

855.  a three day work week this week

856.  clean kitchen walls - yes, I scrubbed the walls this weekend.  Just something you have to do once in awhile!

857.  freedom from sin

858.  freedom from guilt

859.  surrender

860.  a new song every morning


  1. May God continue to give you peace in this storm. Praying.

  2. Your faith inspires me, Stefani. Thank you for sharing these thoughts; they help me where I am now too. Praying for you...

  3. Stephani, I am praying for "little bird" and for the family. You are "still still" and are knowing that He is God. I am encouraged by your list and your photo that capture blessings.

  4. Oh, how I appreciate friends who pray (#846). A great list during your time of waiting on the Lord.

  5. AnonymousJuly 09, 2011

    What a lovely list...I feel your pain AND your gratitude.

  6. Stephani, I am praying for "little bird" and for the family. Your list is great and those photograph is really superb as well as I enjoyed lot in my first visit.


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